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Paraprosdokians
Paraprosdokians are
figures of speech in which the latter part of
a sentence or phrase is surprising or
unexpected and is frequently humorous.
(Winston Churchill
loved them).
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...
but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some
people appear bright until you hear them
speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up -- we only learn
how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only
who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is
plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I
was blaming you.
10. In filling out an application, where it
says, "In case of emergency, notify... " I
answered " a doctor."
11. Women will never be equal to men until
they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not
so sure.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot
first and call whatever you hit the target.
15. Going to church doesn't make you a
Christian, any more than standing in a garage
makes you a car.
16. You're never too old to learn something
stupid.
17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but
it's getting harder and harder for me to find
one now.
So.....
Spread
the laughter, share the cheer, let's be
happy, while we're here!
