I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. Ė
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
decide to put the bills back on the table
and take out the garbage first.
then I think,
since Iím going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi Iíd been drinking.
going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I donít accidentally knock it over.
Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eyeĖthey need water.
the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
Iíve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first Iím going to water the flowers.
the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
realize that tonight when we go to watch
Iíll be looking for the remote,
but I wonít remember that itís on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first Iíll water the flowers.
some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isnít washed
the bills arenít paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers donít have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I canít find the remote,
I canít find my glasses,
and I donít remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
Iím really baffled because I know I was busy all the damn day,
and Iím really tired.
realize this is a serious problem,
and Iíll try to get some help for it,
but first Iíll check my e-mailÖ.
Donít laugh ó if this isnít you yet, your day is coming!!